In another case, Tannen talks about a wife named Diana who likes making suggestions to her husband by starting her statements with "let's," like "let's park over there" or "let's clean up now, before lunch." Although, Diana's purpose in making these suggestions is precisely to make suggestions, her husband began to resist them, assuming that Diana was trying to manipulate with him and control him (Tannen, n.d.). So strong is the idea among many men that men should be the ones controlling and owning that Diana's husband took it to a new level, being obsessed with the idea and resisting genuine suggestions of her wife's for fear of losing what he believed was his possession.
Women do resist these hierarchical gendered relationships. Tannen mentions another case, involving a couple. Because of the husband's decision to make decisions for her, the wife often had to drive old used cars that constantly required repair. The husband always had his way and the wife complied. But after barely escaping an accident due to bad breaks, the wife in the next car shopping decided to insist on a car of her choosing. To the wife's surprise, the husband did not protest at all. As Tannen explains the wife's discovery, "a little conflict won't kill you. At the...
As I argued at the beginning, resistance pays off. The example discussed here is the testament to this fact.
It is crucial to note again that we cannot generalize about all men and all women. But due to the history of mankind dominated by men, gendered stereotypes and false assumptions are still widespread in the consciousness of both men and women. Many men are still of the opinion that the world is exclusively theirs, that they are superior to women, and that women's role in the society is to serve the wishes and interests of men. Progress has been made in the post-Civil Rights era -- due to feminism becoming mainstream and due to the persistent resistance of women -- but sexism on a subconscious level is far from being destroyed. And sexism today can be observed by analyzing daily conversations of men and women.
References
Solnit, R. (2008, Apr. 13) Men who explain things. Los Angeles Times. Retrieved 17 February 2012, from http://articles.latimes.com/print/2008/apr/13/opinion/op-solnit13
Tannen, D. (n.d.) Can't we talk? Retrieved 17 February 2012, from http://raysweb.net/poems/articles/tannen.html
